April 24, 2018

"American Idol is shedding contestants like an Agatha Christie whodunit. There goes Effie Passero through a trap door."

"A suit of armor fell on Ron Bultongez. Amelia Hammer Harris took a hard fall off the Orient Express. And now we’re at the top 14 with the shivering, terrified survivors who just want Ryan Seacrest to lower his monocle and solve this whole thing for everyone. But we’ve got five episodes left to deduce which contestant deserves the crown, and I have a sneaking suspicion it could be anybody. Let’s roll through these 14 contenders, comment on the eliminations, and wonder if Lionel Richie knows his sparkly blazer would look smashing on Vicki Lawrence."

Louis Virtel is doing a fabulous job of recapping "American Idol" at Vulture, with snappy sentences and full, commercial-free, clips of every performance. That link goes to the recap of last night's results show, where my favorite, Maddie Poppe, sang "Walk Like an Egyptian":



And here's the link to the Sunday episode recap, with each performance ranked by Virtel, including #1, Maddie Poppe, doing "Homeward Bound":



ADDED: Here's what Virtel wrote about that "Walk Like an Egyptian" performance:
I’m all for Maddie Poppe’s calmed-down, twee’d-up renditions of songs... “Homeward Bound”? Sure. “Brand New Key”? Absolutely. But after Ryan Seacrest announced she was safely in the top ten, Maddie gave her first baffling performance of the season: an undanceable take on “Walk Like an Egyptian.” It’s as if she wanted us to pay attention to the Bangles’ lyrics, which are … well, they’re stupid. Let’s talk a look at “Foreign types with the hookah pipes say / Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh / Walk like an Egyptian.” That’s offensive, senseless, and then back to offensive. And she didn’t even throw us the saucy Susanna Hoffs side-eye to soften the embarrassment! I’m worried now. Soon, Maddie with perform “Kokomo” as a piano ballad or add marimba to “Tears in Heaven”! Here’s hoping she’s back on track with an angora-warm version of “You’ve Got a Friend” or something next week.
Ha ha. Ask Meade if I didn't say out loud, "The lyrics to this song are actually pretty offensive."

AND: Here's the old Bangles video featuring the ancient mystery of Susanna Hoffs's inability to position her irises in the center of her eyeballs. As for the idea of "the Bangles' lyrics," I've got to object. They didn't write the song. It was written by music producer Liam Sternberg, who, Wikipedia tells us, "wrote the song after seeing people on a ferry walking awkwardly to keep their balance." The only connection to Egypt is that Sternberg thought the people looked like the figures in the ancient Egyptian paintings.

Is the song offensive? It's one of the songs Clear Channel banned after the September 11, 2001 attacks. [CORRECTION: That statement is wrong, as explained here.] It's got that casual, silly attitude toward ethnicity found in many old songs — "Ahab the Arab" ("There he saw Fatima layin' on a zebra skin rug with rings on her fingers and bells on her toes and a bone in her nose ho, ho"), "The Sheik of Araby" ("At night when you're asleep/Into your tent I'll creep"), "Midnight at the Oasis" ("You won't need no camel/When I take you for a ride"). I'm just naming ones about Arabs that spring immediately to mind. There's also Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs...



You wouldn't do that today. Domingo "Sam" Samudio was Mexican American, and he just enjoyed Yul Brenner as Pharaoh in "The Ten Commandments." As for Yul Brenner, he was a combination of Swiss-German, Russian, and Buryat, but it was accepted back then that he could play an ancient Egyptian. And he also got to play the King of Siam.

I'd branch out to other ethnicities, but I'll just say "Turning Japanese," and I'll leave it to you to come up with some other silly songs that would steam people up if they came out today (but maybe we can still love because they are old).

"Turning Japanese" was just a way of saying I feel like a foreigner in my own culture. The lyrics had nothing to do with Japanese people:
No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
But the video (and that musical riff)... just comically leaned into Japanese stereotypes (back in 1980, when not letting anything offend you was kind of the culture):

137 comments:

MadisonMan said...

A friend of mine is convinced Jurnee or Gabby will win. I'm not so sure. Didn't Gabby already win back in Season 4 when she was named Carrie?

rhhardin said...

Ahab the Arab would have been better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYn_6NjcopY

Who doesn't like Clyde the Camel.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Hey Meade, did the Professor not say out loud "The lyrics to this song are actually pretty offensive."?

Clyde said...

Too many whiners! "Oh, I'm offended, waaah waaah waaah!" At this point I'm about ready to go out and buy a Chief Wahoo cap just on general principles.

Clyde said...

And I'm not a Cleveland Indians fan.

Ralph L said...

"Home, where my dogs escaping..."

Did the ancient Egyptians have hookah pipes?

MadisonMan said...

btw -- I thought Poppe's performance of WLaE was kinda flat. No energy.

I'm glad Eyebrow guy went home.

Darrell said...

Verse 8--

If you want to find all the cops
They're hanging out in the donut shop
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)
Spin the clubs cruise down the block


Sounds about right.

Ralph L said...

She'd have done better with Manic Monday, but I'm guessing that's been done before.

rhhardin said...

Taking offense is part of the corrupt payoff culture.

You get a small benefit even if it screws up everyhing having a culture has to offer.

SDaly said...

Manic Monday?

All of the nights
Why did my lover have to pick last night
To get down
Doesn't it matter
That I have to feed the both of us
Employment's down
He tells me in his bedroom voice
C'mon honey, let's go make some noise


That sounds problematic. Woman supporting a loafer who demand she have sex with him when she really needs her sleep.

To Althouse - look at anything. from the past, and someone will find a way to point out how offensive it is. The point of modern critical studies is to sever people from their roots by convincing them that their past is worthless and offensive. Just stop participating.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

Umm, Turning Japanese was about masturbation.

Darrell said...

Turning Japanese refers to the face some people make when climaxing. 4Chan guy can elaborate.

I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all 'round my cell
I want the doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well

You've got me turning up and turning down, I'm turning in, I'm turning 'round

gilbar said...

kirsten dunst's version of Turning Japanese
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0X3CLJVMJU
is a million times better; 'cause it has kirsten dunst in it

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

" I'll leave it to you to come up with some other silly songs that would steam people up if they came out today (but maybe we can still love because they are old)."

By far the most obvious offender (and no other song comes close):

Gold Coast slave ship bound for cotton fields,
Sold in the market down in New Orleans,
Scarred old slaver knows he's doing alright
Hear him whip the women just around midnight.


Even back in the '70's, I wondered how Jagger and Co. got away with it. Perhaps because that opening guitar riff is so damn good, and also because it was usually a challenge to make out the lyrics of a Rolling Stone song. Or because after Altamont, it was clear to rock critics that the Stones were too cool to be held accountable for anything.

BarrySanders20 said...

Speaking of now-offensive songs, with bonus early MTV-era video, remember Genesis' Illegal Alien?

"It's no fun being an illegal alien" . . . yet in the video, they look like they are having fun. Phil Collins with poncho and sombrero, even singing with a Mexican/Spanish accent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_61hzuGGJX0

Rick.T. said...

I was recently listening to the Inside Nashville podcast with Tom Moran interviewing country music PR legend Jules Wortman. Both agreed that if you had the talent you were better off not winning these contests, a couple of early winners notwithstanding. If you are talented enough, the right people will find you and you are not locked into what the show owners want you to do.

Dangerous Dreamer said...

The lyrics are offensive? For God sakes everything is offensive to somebody... give it a rest.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

Althouse, a faint heart over at USA Today has already done your work for you and complied a list of 20 politically incorrect songs that dumb people in the past liked (because they were dumb and not woke). All the smart woke people today know better. "Brown Sugar" wins first place, as I expected, and "Turning Japanese" and "Walk Like an Egyptian" are also on the list, but so is "Ebony and Ivory":

Song:Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, 1982

Choice lyric: “Ebony and ivory / Live together in perfect harmony / Side by side on my piano keyboard / Oh lord, why don't we?”

Why it wouldn't fly today: McCartney and Wonder meant well with their hyper-literal interpretation of race relations. But their message of “people are the same, there’s good and bad in everyone, so let’s just get along” would be interpreted as hilariously naïve by the more woke factions of today's cultural discourse."


Yeah, how naive to think we can all just get along. "Ebony and Ivory" is on my personal shit list, but that's because it's a sappy piece of dreck.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2018/04/12/20-politically-incorrect-songs-thatd-wildly-controversial-today/465246002/

Ann Althouse said...

Here are the lyrics to "Walk Like an Egyptian." It's not about ancient Egyptians other than the reference to the old paintings where the figures look like their walking in 2 dimensions, so they might fall down "like a domino."

The other verses are about various kinds of modern-day people who are all said to be walking like that (maybe because we're all in a precarious position in life and might fall down).

The first set of modern-day people are, indeed, Egyptian — "the bazaar men by the Nile." But there follow different kinds of people:

Foreign types with the hookah pipes
blonde waitresses
school kids who punk and metal bands
kids in the marketplace
cops hanging out in the donut shop
the Japanese with their yen
The party boys who call the Kremlin
the Chinese

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

I'm surprised Jr. Walker & the All Stars' big hit didn't make it onto the USA Today list:

I said shotgun shoot 'em 'fore he run now do the jerk baby do the jerk now.
(Hey).
Put on your red dress and then you go down yonder.
I said buy yourself a shotgun now, were gonna break it down baby now.
We're gonna load it up baby now 'a then you shoot 'em 'fore he run now.


Ken B said...

It's reassuring to know we finally live in an age where offensive lyrics are no more. Where once we might have had the smirkingly sexist “Mama's got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night” now we have “Shut the fuck up bitch shut the fuck up, Shut the fuck up bitch shut the fuck up”. And it's nice to we have an army of Pecksniffs poring over old recordings to find the evidence of how much better people we are now.

tcrosse said...

Steve Martin does cultural sensitivity in 1978

Curious George said...

"To Althouse - look at anything. from the past, and someone will find a way to point out how offensive it is. The point of modern critical studies is to sever people from their roots by convincing them that their past is worthless and offensive. Just stop participating."

Yep

Ann Althouse said...

"Turning Japanese refers to the face some people make when climaxing."

That's a very stupid thing to say.

It's obviously about alienation.

The songwriter says: "Turning Japanese is all the clichés about angst and youth and turning into something you didn't expect to."

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Confused said...

Given that pre-Greek Egyptian culture was more or less obliterated, I should think Pharaonic Egypt would be a safe source of stereotyping and letting Europeans play their characters. Do we really know that Pharaoh wouldn't have looked European?

If this Idol contestant wants to crib Bangles songs, she should take a crack at Following, one of their better and sadly neglected songs. It was written and sung by Michael Steele, who I think was overshadowed by Susanna Hoff but is really talented.

And of course, Hoff can look sideways or any other ways at me all she likes.

Ann Althouse said...

"the face some people make when climaxing"

1. There is no such face

2. If you were making it, you'd be closing your eyes and therefore not seeing yourself (and that's assuming you masturbate while looking in a mirror)

3. The person in the song feels bad about his situation, which is inconsistent with lighthearted masturbatory thoughts. The songwriter clearly would not want these lyrics to be thought of that way, which makes the song just stupid and offensive, not about any emotion worth thinking about

4. It's a folk interpretation of the song which caught on because it appeals to a certain sort of person. I'm sure there's a big list somewhere of popular but wrong interpretations of song lyrics (and I don't mean misheard lyrics).

Roughcoat said...

If you've ever studied photos of Ramesses II's remarkably well-preserved mummy, you will see that Yul Brynner did in fact bear more than a passing resemblance to the 19th Dynasty pharaoh he portrayed in "The Ten Commandments."

The Egyptians, btw, were white, i.e. light complected, although they were not Indo-Europeans. However ... the 19th Dynasty royal family might have had significant Indo-European blood, as a result of intermarriage with the Indo-Aryan Mianni ruling class.

Ramesses' father, Seti I, is also remarkably well-preserved (his mummy, that is). One scholar likened him in appearance to a U.S. Supreme Court judge from New England.

The ancient Egyptians were at pains to emphasize, in art, their light complexions. Upper class Egyptian women tried to stay out of the sun so that their skin would not tan. Tan skin was a characteristic of the lower classes.

In their art they depict themselves with white or reddish/flesh-colored skin. Nubians are depicted as coal black with kinky hair; Semites are depicted as having hooked noses with long curly beards and hair; the Hittites are depicted as tall, clean-shaven, with long hair -- typical Bronze Age Indo-Europeans.

The ancient Egyptian man averaged 5'6" in height, but they could be taller depending on their social class among other factors. King Tut was 5'11" although he was frail and walked with a cane. The bones of mummified bodies shrank over time, which makes ancient Egyptians seem smaller than they actually were (in general).

Yul Brynner was actually a good choice to play Ramesses. His portrayal -- the arrogrance, the bombast, the courage and self-confidence -- were more or less accurate representations of the historical figure. You need to read Egyptian accounts that include Ramesses speaking in the first person to see that this was so.

Gahrie said...

I believe "turning Japanese" was a reference to masturbation.

Ficta said...

I think Darrell is right about the pre-existing phrase "turning Japanese". I've certainly heard that explanation before. Yes the song is about alienation, but it's also about sexual frustration. It's operating on multiple levels.

I'm pretty sure an early version of the phrase turns up in the WW2 era comedy drama Mister Roberts, of all places, when a character is trying to get the captain to give the men some shore leave and he says:

"We've gotta get these guys ashore. They're goin' Asiatic"

Ken B said...

The blogger who gets huffy when you call one of her comments stupid calls some comments very stupid. Hasn’t Althouse linked to UrbanDictionary in the past? Guess what meaning it gives.

Why can’t it be both, why can’t having to wank to pictures of your inamorata be a metaphor for isolation?

(Has Althouse ever used inamorata? Will she be annoyed enough to check?)

SDaly said...

I always thought turning Japanese was about a guy in an insane asylum, feeling like one of the guys in Japan who never leave their houses - the hikikomori.

Roughcoat said...

I liked Maddie Poppe's version of "Walk Like and Egyptian." I do not find the song offensive. But, too, I don't find Irish drinking songs depicting the Irish as drunken violent louts (e.g., "Finnigan's Wake") offensive either. I don't care. And we really are like that sometimes.

BarrySanders20 said...

The Who weren't always subtle. From Dr Jimmy:

You say she's a virgin
I'm gonna be the first in

Her fellah's gonna kill me?
Oh fucking will he
I'm seeing double
But don't miss me if you can
There's gonna be trouble
When she chooses her man

What is it? I'll take it
Who is she? I'll rape it
Got a bet there? I'll meet it
Getting High? You can't beat it

Darrell said...

Turning Japanese was popular slang in parts of England before the song came out. For example, "high schools students" would ask what a person is going to do Friday night, and he would say "probably I'll be turning Japanese, as usual, mate." Of course, parents/teachers wouldn't know what they were talking about--and that's the way kids like it. Now, the UK is a country where a cover band gets arrested for performing "Kung-Fu Fighting" in a pub open to the market, when a Chinese tourist took offense and complained to a Community Policing Officer, so the band says it wasn't sexual. Like Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds wasn't about drugs.

You can see through squinty eyes and others can see you, so your Point 1 is too silly for rebuttal.

tcrosse said...

Jerry Lewis used to do "Japanese" shtick with buck teeth and thick eyeglasses.

Browndog said...

When the song first came out, it was understood Turning Japanese was about masturbation.

Then there is 'Killing an Arab' by The Cure. Long been banned in the U.K.,a song based on a classic novel. Then there is "Mexican Radio", one of my favs, based on a guy running across a Mexican radio station. Very offensive.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...


I wish was I was in Tijuana,
eating barbequed iguana.

I've never heard that the Mexicans were terribly offended by that song, but they don't have to be, woke non-Hispanic whites will be offended for them.

MadisonMan said...

The songwriter says: "Turning Japanese is all the clichés about angst and youth and turning into something you didn't expect to."

Yes, that's much better-sounding than saying it's a song about beating off. Something I'd expect a songwriter to claim.

Ask anyone who was in College when this came out, and they'll all say : "It's about masturbation"

Ken B said...

Althouse at 9:22
Orgasm an inappropriate metaphor for strong feelings?
There's a poem by George Herbert that uses sex as a metaphor for his acceptance of God. And then there's Bernini

http://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=cIP6hMNg&id=F33EDD4380A8A2ACFDD8AE9A269903976148C5EE&thid=OIP.cIP6hMNg0pclNpgMMFvLFwHaFW&q=Teresa+in+Ecstasy+Bernini&simid=608026539378281214&selectedIndex=0

traditionalguy said...

The GenZ kids know the world in interconnected. So why be offended by differences. Accept them all. Madde accepts our oldie but goodie songs with a loving attitude. She might become this generation's honky tonk man playing old familiar songs and she can also write her own songs. Should we rename her Madde Dylan?

Static Ping said...

Ralph L said... Did the ancient Egyptians have hookah pipes?

No. The hookah pipe was invented in the 16th century A.D., probably after the introduction of tobacco to India/Persia. Given tobacco is native to America, the ancient Egyptians would have no clue it existed.

MadisonMan said...

Jerry Lewis used to do "Japanese" shtick with buck teeth and thick eyeglasses.

Watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. Cringe at Mickey Rooney playing Mr. Yunioshi.

Clyde said...

Gilbar @ 8:54

Yes, indeed, I love that version! Here it is as a link:

Kirsten Dunst - Turning Japanese

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

I expect that the wonders of modern technology will be used to modify songs, movies and old TV shows to spare us all offense. "The Andy Griffith Show" featured a Southern town with no black population. That's offensive. Andy, Opie and Aunt Bea will become black, but Barney will be allowed to remain white, since the character is an idiot. We'll have to do something about Bogart's cigarette smoking. We don't want to promote such an unhealthy habit. Let's change the money so Bogart is holding a lollipop (a sugar-free one, of course) in Rick's Cafe.

sean said...

Wow, pretty much everything offends Prof. Althouse. It must be sad to be in such a constant state of grievance.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

Ask anyone who was in College when this came out, and they'll all say : "It's about masturbation"

4/24/18, 9:39 AM


Yep. I remember being told by my peers that "Turning Japanese" was about masturbation.

Carter Wood said...

Does pro-wrestling still have stereotyped heels? In my youth, the Germans with spiked helmets were the bad guys.

Even in the mid-'80s: Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik.

SDaly said...

"The person in the song feels bad about his situation, which is inconsistent with lighthearted masturbatory thoughts."

LOL. Most male masturbatory sessions are not lighthearted. If you lack a partner and are believe you are stuck at home masturbating, you may feel bad about your situation.

Fernandinande said...

More than 100 years ago, American sociologist Caldell Titcomb Jr. was concerned that "ethnicity" was being used as a cultural explanation for what he understood to be genetic differences between different populations of people. He spoke out against the idea of an "ethnicity" as a discrete group.

Now we know that there is no cultural characteristic common to all members of any ethnicity. If ethnicities were "real" in the cultural sense, ethnic classifications for individuals would remain constant across boundaries.

SDaly said...

Is "Killing An Arab" really banned in the U.K.? Did they confiscate all of the old Cure albums and tapes to ensure no one played/ heard it inadvertently?

What is the temperature at which vinyl burns? Probably lower than 451.

Jupiter said...

Maybe you could explain just exactly what you found "offensive" about "Walk Like An Egyptian"? Is it simply the use of the word Egyptian? The mere fact of reference being made to geography? They must have really fucked you up in that place you used to work.

Earnest Prole said...

Back in 1980, when not letting anything offend you was kind of the culture.

I read those words and experienced a deep wave of longing.

SeanF said...

exiledonmainstreet: I expect that the wonders of modern technology will be used to modify songs, movies and old TV shows to spare us all offense. "The Andy Griffith Show" featured a Southern town with no black population. That's offensive. Andy, Opie and Aunt Bea will become black, but Barney will be allowed to remain white, since the character is an idiot. We'll have to do something about Bogart's cigarette smoking. We don't want to promote such an unhealthy habit. Let's change the money so Bogart is holding a lollipop (a sugar-free one, of course) in Rick's Cafe.

I remember reading a science fiction book - I'm thinking it was "Ghost of the Grand Banks", by Arthur C. Clarke, but I could be wrong - in which there was an entire industry devoted to "correcting" old films, with a specific mention of the removal of cigarettes.

rhhardin said...

Droll but lofty planet. - Lautreamont

Ken B said...

Songs never use sly references to sex. I'll just leave this here. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tutti_Frutti_(song)

Fernandinande said...

exiledonmainstreet said...
"The Andy Griffith Show" featured a Southern town with no black population.


BZZT! There was a black guy in line with Gomer when he was joining the Marines. And another....google...?

JackWayne said...

If you want to hear some really good cultural appropriation, listen to St. Paul and the Broken Bones.

Ken B said...

Birthday Cake by Rihanna

“It's not even my birthday, but he want to lick the icing off. I know you want it in the worst way. Can't wait to blow my candles out."

Is it really just about baked goods?

Quaestor said...

Althouse wrote: I'm just naming ones about Arabs that spring immediately to mind. There's also Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs...

A simple rule: If you're prone to take offense at good-natured ribbing regarding your sartorial choices, don't wear a towel on your head.

Ann Althouse said...

"I think Darrell is right about the pre-existing phrase "turning Japanese". I've certainly heard that explanation before. Yes the song is about alienation, but it's also about sexual frustration. It's operating on multiple levels. I'm pretty sure an early version of the phrase turns up in the WW2 era comedy drama Mister Roberts, of all places, when a character is trying to get the captain to give the men some shore leave and he says: "We've gotta get these guys ashore. They're goin' Asiatic""

That doesn't mean they're masturbating!

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

"BZZT! There was a black guy in line with Gomer when he was joining the Marines."

Oh dear. I missed that episode.

rhhardin said...

Early cell phone

http://www.shorpy.com/node/23302?size=_original#caption

Fernandinande said...

Google sez:
Opie & The Carnival
Andy's English Valet
Barney Comes to Mayberry
Barney Gets His Man
Ellie Comes to Town

They missed the one I remembered:
Season 4, Episode 32 Gomer Pyle, USMC" with photogenic evidence.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...


SDaly said...
"Is "Killing An Arab" really banned in the U.K.? Did they confiscate all of the old Cure albums and tapes to ensure no one played/ heard it inadvertently?"

Well, this happened, so anything is possible:


North Yorkshire Police

@NYorksPolice
Top tip: If you want to stay out of trouble, don't do what this driver did and swear at our mobile safety cameras while driving past in a car fitted with a laser jammer. Today he's beginning 8 months in jail for perverting the course of justice. https://northyorkshire.police.uk/news/laser-jammer-prison/ …

9:48 AM - Apr 23, 2018

Jupiter said...

Yeah, back in 71 I thought it was kind of weird that the Stones were singing about the joys of whipping black women. By then I had started to recognize that Negroes were not exactly as they had been represented to me, but I didn't think that made it ok to want to whip them. Of course, nowadays, "whipping black women" is probably a recognized and monetized category of popular entertainment, with a cutesy name involving ebony, available free or for a small subscription. "Egyptian", though. My God! That's beyond the pale! I mean, it's like they're talking about Egypt! The place in North Africa! The Nile! The Pyramids! Sick! Sick and wrong! I don't know much about art, but that's offensive! Next they'll be giving the latitude and longitude, right there on the radio!

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

Thank you, pedant.

Fernandinande said...

Of course the classic Andy Griffith episodes were in black and white, so there were no Japanese people.

Ann Althouse said...

The line "We've gotta get these guys ashore. They're goin' Asiatic" comes after the observation that the men are "stumbling around" and "punch-drunk." Going "Asiatic" in this context seems to mean that they're becoming subhuman. They're not wildly sexual and making orgasm faces that are taken to resemble the face of the enemy! It the wartime racist stereotype that the Japanese were subhuman.

Jupiter said...

So, if I get upset because someone used the word "Egyptian", and then it turns out I'm not actually Egyptian myself, is that cultural appropriation? And what about "Walk Like A Man", by The Four Seasons? Could a woman sing it?

Darrell said...

What's the last thing Kirsten Dunst does in her Turning Japanese video?
She makes the Japanese guy go pop. Then smiles mischievously.

Ficta said...

From the limited results I've been able to find on what exactly "Going Asiatic" meant, it seems to have meant, generally, going crazy; from the stress of war, by implication. It seems likely that this could have been an etymological ancestor of the civilian phrase "Turning Japanese". But I can't prove it.

Ken B said...

I don’t buy the Asiatic thing either, that's a real stretch. But a song using a slang phrase and making a metaphor of a double meaning is not a stretch.

Curious George said...

Is it just me or is Maddie Poppe hot?

William said...

I just now, for the first time, heard this song. The rhythms of the song are consistent with fapping. The beat of beating off. I'm going with masturbation. Kirsten Dunst definitely has the definitive version of this song.

Ann Althouse said...

Research confirms what was obvious to me:

From Songfacts: "One of the more misinterpreted songs of all time, word was that "Turning Japanese" refers to the Asian facial features people get at the moment of climax during masturbation. In a VH1 True Spin special, they asked The Vapors about this song, and they explained that it is a love song about someone who lost their girlfriend and was going slowly crazy. Lead singer Dave Fenton said: 'Turning Japanese is all the clichés about angst and youth and turning into something you didn't expect to." It was inspired by Fenton's relationship problems.'"

Sam L. said...

Sam the Sham was 1st Expressman in "The Fastest Guitar
Alive", Roy Orbison's first movie. I recommend not failing to miss it.

Ann Althouse said...

"refers to the Asian facial features people get" ... that's very stupidly written, but not as stupid as getting infected by the completely bogus folk interpretation.

There are plenty of songs that actually are about masturbation... why go looking for it in a place where you have to indulge in moronic racism to build out your theory.

William said...

Any song, novel, or play about race becomes offensive within fifty years. Irving Berlin has a song called "Shaking the Blues Away." I think one lyric goes "Do what the darkies/And shake your blues away". The song doesn't get much airplay, but it's extremely catchy.......Paul Robeson in his lifetime declined to sing the lyrics of Ole Man River as written. The musical Showboat is going the way of Huckleberry Finn and The Little Colonel and will soon be stored in the attic with other discarded stereotypes. I'm glad to hear that Ebony and Ivory has been retired. Score one for political correctness.

Ken B said...

Althouse 10:45 cites one unbolstered opinion to bolster hers. But her link does not say the band was asked about the face or jerking off. It repeats an anodyne quote she already gave. Generic pablum in an interview, how compelling! She provides no rebuttal to the notion it could be both.

And it is not racist to take note of racial stereotypes held in the past. It would not be racist to interpret a song from the 20s referring to fried chicken and watermelon stereotypes as alluding to stereotypes about blacks.

She has at least shifted ground from “that’s stupid” to “that’s racist”. Does anyone think that means she's winning?

William said...

David Bowie uses the verboten phrase "illegal alien" in An Englishmen in New York. On the other hand, the song gets bonus PC points for being a sympathetic treatment about the problems faced by a gender bender. Be interesting to see where the PC police shake out on this.

PM said...

When I look at my China girl (not a woman?)
I stumble into town just like a sacred cow (shot at Hindus)
Visions of swastikas in my head (nuff said, master race guy)
Plans for everyone (ibid)
It's in the whites of my eyes ('whites' again)
My little China girl (little?! pedophilia)

Darrell said...

Choking the Chicken is a love song about someone who lost their girlfriend and was going slowly crazy. Really.

William said...

'"Going downtown" used to be s slang expression for third base, i.e. hand activity beneath the waist. The song as written and sung actually had nothing to do with such an expression, but it added an extra layer of punch and poignance if you misinterpreted the lyrics in such a way.......Lionel Hampton always claimed that "Flying Home" was about flying home. Maybe, but the other meaning rings more chimes.

Ken B said...

Darrell,
There's a famous song about making whoopee cushions too I think.

Althouse’s quote proves nothing, as any lawyer should know, because no-one would admit to making crude racist stereotypes.

Ken B said...

Most famous song only about metal bells: My Ding-a-ling.

Mark said...

that "Walk Like an Egyptian" performance

Problem wasn't that it was undanceable. Problem was she was missing notes. Badly.

My guess as to the reason is that she was singing it too passively/softly, rather than really projecting.

Clark said...

"[H]e went through a brief Egyptian period that baffled me--he tried to walk flat a great deal, sticking one arm in front of him and one in back of him, putting one foot behind the other. He declared Egyptians walked that way; I said if they did I didn't see how they got anything done, but Jem said they accomplished more than the Americans ever did, they invented toilet paper and perpetual embalming, and asked where would we be today if they hadn't? Atticus told me to delete the adjectives and I'd have the facts."

Static Ping said...

I really doubt the Japanese care about any racist and/or offensive characteristics of "Turning Japanese." As we saw in a prior Japanese music video on this very blog, they do not give a crap about blackface (or sanity). For that matter, the Japanese are notorious for being racist themselves. Whatever.

"Walk Like an Egyptian" is so harmless that to consider it offensive takes real effort.

Earnest Prole said...

There's no way you'll convince me "Whack Like an Egyptian" is not about masturbation.

Ann Althouse said...

That orgasm-face interpretation is like something someone today would do as an internet prank. It sort of like what I did with the old onion-rings-and-carrot-sticks Hillary Clinton ad. It's just playing. But to actually believe it and not just see it as a funny riff... yikes.

There's also the "Like a Virgin" interpretation that Quentin Tarantino put in the "Reservoir Dogs" dialogue. It's funny and interesting, but it doesn't mean he intended it to be taken as true. But people get infected with an idea and I'm sure there are a lot of people that think "Like a Virgin" is really about how Madonna's boyfriend has a huge penis, etc. etc.

Come on, people! We need to be smart.

Ken B said...

If we need to be smart please explain why a conceit is impossible. (You get peeved when I use words not in your daily voc, but conceit in this context means an underlying scheme or idea; conceits are common in poetry and lyrics.) I think smart people find conceits in John Donne's poems, in satire, in allegorical novels. The Divine Comedy is built around a conceit, it really isn’t just a travelogue, and some smart people like it.

Darrell said...

If your girlfriend is away and you feel lonely, sad, and miserable, you feel like you are turning Japanese. Not French or Portuguese or Russian or Scandinavian--Japanese. Makes perfect sense. On some planets.

Jupiter said...

Ann Althouse said...

"Come on, people! We need to be smart."

Ha! About song lyrics? OK. I'll try harder. But look, there was a time, I even remember it, when a reference to Egyptians would be considered quite a bit less offensive in a public forum than discussion of "how Madonna's boyfriend has a huge penis, etc. etc.". It seems that it is now perfectly OK to gabble on about Sex, of any and all flavors, but anything drifting within a mile or two of The Social Category That Dare Not Speak Its Name is verboten. As my contribution to the general effort to Be Smart, I will point out that there is great power in that which must not be spoken of. Power to conjure with.

Darrell said...

If the songwriters admitted the truth, the song would be banned in today's UK and the DVDs taken off the shelves. You might even wind up in prison. Pretty big incentive to stick with the crap explanation, I'd say. Again, it was a slang expression in the UK before the song came out. Just enough plausible deniability to get airplay--especially in the US.

Ken B said...

Didn’t Althouse post something like 50,000 words reading stuff into every detail of a Roseanne episode? The hidden message in jalousies. But it's stupid to think a song about a crude phrase is even alluding to its meaning.

Gahrie said...

There are plenty of songs that actually are about masturbation... why go looking for it in a place where you have to indulge in moronic racism to build out your theory.

I was living in England as a teenager when 'Turning Japanese" was released and everyone knew it was about masturbation.

I bet Althouse believes that "Puff the Magic Dragon" wasn't about drug use.

Mr. D said...

Then there's Night Boat to Cairo, complete with pith helmets, fezzes and a reference to an oarsman with a toothless smile.

buwaya said...

And I don't think the Egyptians care either.
Other than a few brainwashed ninnies in US colleges.

Henry said...

Instanbul Not Constantinople

This version looks pretty unobjectionable. Unless weird animation annoys you.

Yancey Ward said...

"Rock the Casbah" by The Clash?

Ken B said...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H7vk5keNbRc

Ken B said...

If people would do it now as an “internet” prank, that is as a comical reference, why wouldn’t they have done the same thing before the internet? Is the internet essential for teenage guy humor? Should we blame Al Gore?

Bill Peschel said...

Wait a minute, isn't the meaning of art whatever the audience think it is? I know Melanie didn't mean for "Brand New Key" to be anything but a charming, childish song.

So what?

The audience is always the final arbiter of what a piece of art means. Just look at what the Nazis thought about Wagner.

cacimbo said...

Racist lyrics are still in fashion, just which groups it is acceptable to make fun of have changed. Sexist and/or anti-white comments from black/asian rappers - all good. Anti-semitic and anti-Christian songs - great fun.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/18/arts/music/anti-semitism-german-rap.html


Darrell said...

Istanbul (Not Constantinople) Ballet style.

Earnest Prole said...

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
Just remember darling all the while
You belong to me

Bob Dylan’s loveliest song isn’t even his own.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

It's a silly song, but I don't see how it's offensive. Aren't Egyptians foreign types (everywhere but Egypt)? Don't they smoke hookahs?

If Egyptians are offended, good. They can stand to be offended a bit; they offend me greatly.

And Istanbul SHOULD be Constantinople. DOWN WITH TURKISH IMPERIALISM! DEATH TO ERDOGAN!

SDaly said...

"I Want A Little Sugar in My Bowl" was clearly just written about a woman who was about to bake a cake.

JohnAnnArbor said...

When I look at my China girl (not a woman?)
I stumble into town just like a sacred cow (shot at Hindus)
Visions of swastikas in my head (nuff said, master race guy)
Plans for everyone (ibid)
It's in the whites of my eyes ('whites' again)
My little China girl (little?! pedophilia)


Yeah, that would not fly today, David Bowie or not.

MadisonMan said...

Not French or Portuguese or Russian or Scandinavian--Japanese. Makes perfect sense. On some planets.

Like Planet Claire.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

The Maddie Poppe lady shows well enough for an amateur. Fewer than 8/10 of the words were even uttered, let alone spoken understandably. Puts a cap of 8/10 on the score.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

Offensive lyrics? Kinky Friedman: "I'm Proud to be an asshole from El Paso."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a50gPRSi3Ic

eddie willers said...

There are plenty of songs that actually are about masturbation

The best one ever.

Lucinda Williams - "Right In Time"

Jupiter said...

SDaly said...
"I Want A Little Sugar in My Bowl" was clearly just written about a woman who was about to bake a cake.

Let us not forget I Want a Hot Dog For My Roll

Roughcoat said...

Re: "Going Asiatic"

Refers to U.S. sailors who served in the Yangtze River Patrol Force (1854-1949) who chose to stay in China after the term of enlistment, usually because they had taken a Chinese girl to wife.

The character of "Frenchie" in "The Sand Pebbles" (novel and movie) went Asiatic. His pal the story's chief protagonist, Jake Holman, was on the verge of going Asiatic when he met his tragic albeit heroic end.

By extension "Going Asiatic" came to mean that a so-called China Sailor had been in China too long and was going hinky and strange because of it. China sailors, i.e. sailors posted to the Yangtze Patrol, were typically considered lost to the "civilized navy", ruined for service anywhere else -- ruined, even, for return to a normal life back home in the United States. Generally the navy refused to have them anywhere else. They served out their enlistments, or their careers, or even their lives, in China.

It is said that when Nationlist China fell to Mao and the Communists, old China hand, some who had been their for decades came swarming out of the proverbial woodwork of China seeking passage to a United States they had not seen in many, many years.

Roughcoat said...

In the book I wrote about the 2nd Marine Division in World War II, the Marine vets I interviewed often told me of fellow Marines who had what was classified as "battle fatigue" but who were said to have "gone Asiatic." Theese were the ones who went loony, who broke down completely, who began acting and talking irrationally -- who stared the "Thousand Yard Stare" and couldn't come back from it. They had been out in the boonies too long, seen too much, done too much, had been used up and emptied out. They had gone Asiatic.

Jupiter said...

eddie willers said...

"The best one ever."

Wow. Lucinda Williams. I don't envy very many people, but I envy the guys who got to play in her band. And by "play in her band", I mean, stand on a stage and play a guitar, while she made her magic. I don't envy the poor bastards she wrote all those crazy songs about.

Ficta said...

@Roughcoat Thanks for the solid info. I'm fascinated by little things that show up in old popular culture for which the context has been almost totally forgotten.

Bilwick said...

Mayve I missed this (my eyeglasses have gone missing) but I think Yul's surname was "Brynner" not "Brenner."

Clyde said...

William said...
David Bowie uses the verboten phrase "illegal alien" in An Englishmen in New York.


Wasn't that Sting?

Roughcoat said...

Ficta:

Thanks. I share your fascination.

Christy said...

I think I'm grateful I don't hear the words to songs.

Meanwhile, over on the Voice we were treated to https://youtu.be/6QfLyll0TYg

William said...

Yes, Sting not David Bowie performed An Englishman in New York. I apologize for any problems this bit of fake news may have caused. ......Wagner's operas inspired both the Nazis and one of the early Zionists. Make of that what you will.......Does onomatopoeia trump the actual lyrics? There are parts of the song that are imitative of the fapping sound.

William said...

David Bowie was the man who fell to earth so you can see how it would be easy to mistake him for an illegal alien. I believe the correct term nowadays is space visitor without visa.

DEEBEE said...

80s at least breathed free. Now in the name of rectitude we have our mouths and our rectums barricaded

D 2 said...

I dont care how late I am to this Comment party, let it be said that Ms S Hoffs can sing whatever she damned well wants. Her version of Different Drum isnt the worst thing ever on the ol YouTubes. (Ms PP Arnold & Ms L Ronstadt can sing whatever they want too, of course.)

So Goodbye, I'll be leaving. I see no sense in the crying and grief
We'll both live a lot longer if you live without me.

As for offensive lyrics, well, .........there's an old saying: If you wait it out long enough, the critic will start berating you for your silence. Or if thats not an old saying, I'm gonna say it is.

Taylor said...

I love the song but that Mickey Mouse hair has to go.

Saint Croix said...

Darrell says…

Turning Japanese refers to the face some people make when climaxing.

Althouse says…

That's a very stupid thing to say.

It's obviously about alienation.

The songwriter says: "Turning Japanese is all the clichés about angst and youth and turning into something you didn't expect to."


You're both right!

"turning Japanese" was a slang expression in the UK for a person's face during orgasm. The songwriter took that slang expression and crafted a song.

Is the song about sex and orgasms?

Or is the song about angst and youth and turning into something you didn't expect to?

Maybe a little of both!

Ken B said...

Saint Croix:
I have argued the same thing. This is very common: write about A while talking about B.

Known Unknown said...

Does pro-wrestling still have stereotyped heels?

Sort of. Rusev was a Russian heel when he debuted. Now, he's Bulgarian and a 'heel' who gets cheered.

Jinder Mahal is a heel and is the Modern Day Maharajah, but is actually in real life from Canada.

Known Unknown said...

I thought "Turning Japanese" was about masturbation because of the old adage too much masturbating would make someone go blind.

Aussie Pundit said...

I always thought "Turning Japanese" was about falling in love with a Japanese girl. Anyway, it was number one on the charts in Australia for several weeks - a huge, huge hit - and then for decades afterwards, was completely invisible. Radio stations just never played it, not even occasionally. Maybe they thought it was racist.

I always thought that if the song's about loving a Japanese person, that can't be racist, but it turns out, I learned today on Althouse, that I'm wrong about the meaning, so now I have no idea. Maybe I've been enjoying a racist song all these years and didn't know it.

Bad Lieutenant said...


Ann Althouse said...


Come on, people! We need to be smart.

4/24/18, 11:41 AM


Then why don't you abandon the topic, because you are, and I mean this kindly, imbecilic about sex. Such a waste.

eddie willers said...

I don't envy the poor bastards she wrote all those crazy songs about.

Listening to her songs, one would think they all committed suicide.

PJ57 said...

How about:

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl,
You're much too young, girl
With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe
You're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth, Oh,
Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise

And though you know
That it is wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes, Oh,
So hurry home to your mama
I'm sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far, Oh,
Young girl