August 12, 2017

"Swift’s testimony on Thursday was, in BuzzFeed’s words 'badass and amazing,' and in CNN’s words 'firm, even snarky.'"

"Or as GQ writer Caity Weaver put it, 'SHE DROPPED THE MIC SO HARD IT FELL THROUGH THE FUCKIN FLOOR. ONLY QUESTION IS "WHERE CAN WE GET ANOTHER MIC, THIS ONE HAS BEEN ANNIHILATED."'"

From "The Taylor Swift groping trial shows how we think about who’s entitled to women’s bodies" (in Vox).
Throughout her testimony, Swift insisted on placing all responsibility on the man who allegedly groped her, refusing to be redirected. Here are some quotes from the testimony in question.

•When [David] Mueller’s lawyer suggested that Swift should be critical of her bodyguard for failing to protect her from being groped: “I'm critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass."

• When asked for her reaction on learning that Mueller was fired: "I'm not going to allow you or your client to make me feel in any way that this is my fault, because it isn't. … I am being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are a product of his decisions and not mine.”

• When Mueller’s lawyer suggested that if she was so traumatized by the incident, she could have ended the meet-and-greet: “And your client could have taken a normal photo with me."

• Responding to Mueller’s description of her as “cold:” “Which is a new one for me, but I have an uncanny ability to elicit new criticism.”

• And in conclusion: "Gabe [Mueller’s attorney], this is a photo of him with his hand up my skirt — with his hand on my ass. You can ask me a million questions — I'm never going to say anything different. I never have said anything different."

88 comments:

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Mueller rolls out the Hillary excuse.

Mueller claims that he recorded a two-hour phone call with KYGO the day after he was informed about Swift’s allegations. He says had a copy of the audio file on his laptop and on an external hard drive, and possibly his cell phone as well — but he spilled coffee on and then lost the laptop, the external hard drive just stopped working, and he threw out the cell phone.

LOL! All that's missing is the bleachbit.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

This is he said/she said, but I believe Swift in this case.

I know men who think they can grab your ass or whatever they want. Not all men, but the gropers are out there.

bagoh20 said...

Is there really a trial about a guy grabbing a girl's ass once? I have never and would never do it, and she had every right to slap him and never have anything to do him or his people again, but a trial? Somebody has a very high opinion of their ass. What are the damages?

rhhardin said...

“I'm critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass."

That's the prose choice. Trump goes for poetry.

Mary had a little lamb
It was a little runt
It stuck its nose beneath her dress
And shoved it up her ___.

Bob Boyd said...

"Somebody has a very high opinion of their ass."

He sued her.

bagoh20 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

He is the one suing her, she counter-sued.

Darrell said...

He was suing her, bagoh20. For losing his job because she pointed out the ass grabbing.

Jason said...

EVERYBODY SHUT UP UNTIL WE HEAR WHAT KANYE HAS TO SAY!

Roughcoat said...

I always thought Taylor Swift was hot. This makes her even hotter. Smart and tough, that's smokin hot.

Hot enough to make me want to grab her ass.

Which I wouldn't do, of course.

She reminds me of my hot blond wife who is also very smart and tough, like Taylor Swift. And who is, not incidentally, 100 percent in Taylor's corner on this. My hot blond wife has often been groped in the course of her merry journey through life. She froths with anger when she contemplates that guy who groped Taylor. She talks as though she'd like to crucify him. Which I find very hot.

Yes, I'm old enough to be Taylor's grandfather. But hot is hot, no matter what the age.

Bob Boyd said...

"What are the damages?"

He wants $3 million.
In her counter suit Swift wants one dollar.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Her side of the story is confident and secure. He's all over the place with the but but but and the excuses. He sounds like a Clinton.

Sucks to be you, dude. Next time act like gentleman, not a pig.

bagoh20 said...

Sorry, I never was good at doing my homework. What's even worse is that in seeing the headlines for this story all week and never reading about it, I kept thinking "Mueller" was special council Robert Mueller, and wondering what Swift had to do with it. I should stick to porn where the names don't matter so much.

Michael P said...

Her responses are funny, firm, and very on point. I lol'ed.

Big Mike said...

You missed one, Alhouse. When Mueller's attorney asked why, if her ass was being grabbed under her skirt, there was no sign of her skirt riding up in front.

“Because my ass is located on the back of my body."

Some of the jurors laughed at that one.

bagoh20 said...

Now I know the important issues in my world. Yea, he deserved to lose his job. That was really stupid. Jeeze, dude, everybody has one. Why would you need to grab it? Is that really satisfying?

Darrell said...

If special council Robert Mueller is going around grabbing girl's asses, he should be fired and jailed.

Darrell said...

Now the question of whether he had done it before and gotten away with it. DJ privilege.

Bob Boyd said...

David Mueller's note to self:

If you're a rich celebrity they may let you grab 'em.
If they're a rich celebrity and you aren't, put your hands in your pockets and keep 'em there.

bagoh20 said...

I just imagined that Trump was accused of colluding with the Russians to have a guy grab Swift's ass. C'mon, it's not impossible. Trump is that crazy, and Swift is probably a Democrat, and we know how much Putin hates Democrats. It still might be the real truth behind all this, and we should have a Special Prosecutor to investigate that.

Laslo Spatula said...

Taylor is asking for one dollar in damages.

If that is the case I will gladly pay a dollar to grab her ass.

I wonder what the rates are for other celebrities.

Angelina Jolie? Three bucks, probably.

Kate Upton? Probably five.

Kim Kardashian? Twenty-five cents, but then you have to buy your own hand-sanitizer, so factor in a few more bucks.

I am Laslo.

rcocean said...

If it wasn't for my daughter and Althouse I wouldn't have the slightest idea who these people are. Who is Taylor Swift? I guess I'll have to google.

traditionalguy said...

Lawyers would never lose a case if their key witnesses stuck to their story on the stand as strong as this young lady stuck to hers.

But alas, few if any ever do.

Bob Boyd said...

"Who is Taylor Swift?"

A woman with a spectacular ass. You'll want to touch it, but don't.

Mary Beth said...

Let's stop and think about what's the most important thing we learned from this. I'm going to say that it's Tay Tay either wears a thong or goes commando - "He did not touch my rib, he did not touch my hand, he grabbed my bare ass."

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Plenty of times i side with the guy - because it's obvious the female is lying with an axe to grind. Not this time.

Laslo Spatula said...

Mary Beth said...
"Let's stop and think about what's the most important thing we learned from this. I'm going to say that it's Tay Tay either wears a thong or goes commando - "He did not touch my rib, he did not touch my hand, he grabbed my bare ass."

That is what I was drawn to in the story.

I love it when women think like Laslo.

I am Laslo.

Big Mike said...

@Mary Beth, yeah, I got that too. TMI, as far as I'm concerned.

If it had been Laslo, she'd have been goosed.

Big Mike said...

(Not that I meant to take your name in vain, Laslo.)

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Perhaps the DJ thought it would be funny or cute, and everyone does it... And boom -bare commando ass. oops.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

(LOL - Mary Beth)

Laslo Spatula said...

I believe Taylor.

However, I also believe part of this stems from Ass Insecurity.

Taylor is a skinny girl. There is not much ass on her.

In a Society that appreciates a well-rounded ass she feels like an Ass Imposter.

Taylor's Ass Insecurity has led her to make a legal point that her ass, though skinny, is worth grabbing.

The opposite of this is Ass Narcissism, where the person believes everyone wants to see their ass. See any of Kim Kardashian's selfies for visual support of this thesis.

I may need to expound on this.

I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...

Speaking of Taylor Swift:

I had a part-time job working evenings at an adult bookstore -- just doing research on the project that is the Life of Laslo -- when Taylor Swift came in one cold rainy night.

I am Laslo.

Dave Begley said...

Textbook client. Her stock just went way UP.

Epic fail cross.

Ralph L said...

She should have boxed his ear at the time.

Big Mike said...

We've got Laslo wound up now. Time to make some popcorn and settle in for the ride.

JAORE said...

LOL! All that's missing is the bleachbit.

And hammers.

This is a he said, she said.

I'm going with she said this time.

Big Mike said...

@JAORE, don't forget the witnesses who saw her react.

Laslo Spatula said...

Hello, everyone. My name is David, and I am an Ass Addict...

It has been seventeen days since I last grabbed a woman's ass without her permission. I won't lie: it's been hard. I see them everywhere -- women's asses, just begging to be grabbed. Asses in sundresses, asses in booty shorts, asses in tight jeans, asses in yoga pants: women just aren't afraid anymore to make a Statement with their ass...

Now, I'm not blaming women for my addiction: I own it. It is a sickness. Sometimes the urge to cup a woman's ass with my hand is practically overwhelming. Don't get me wrong: I am not a pervert. It's not like I try to touch their assholes with my fingers or anything, I keep it straight to the buttocks. But I may have accidentally fingered an asshole or two, and for that I am very sorry...

One of the most difficult things is, now when I'm near a woman, I don't know where to put my hands. Because women always seem to position their asses near my hands. Again: I'm not blaming the women -- I don't think they are aware that they are doing it, it's probably just a biological thing where they want to put their asses near men's hands, like, for survival of the species or something...

I've noticed that now that I am not grabbing women's asses I am drinking and smoking WAY too much. That's okay, though: One Day at a Time. You have to solve one problem before you can solve another, and my biggest problem is grabbing women's asses, not drinking and smoking...

God, I hope it gets easier, you know? Like, I was on the bus to this meeting and there was a woman standing by where I was seated, and her ass was RIGHT IN MY FACE. And it was a very nice ass. A VERY nice ass, and a clingy dress, that gently jostled with the movements of the bus. The urge to touch it was excruciating, but I did it: I kept from touching that magnificent ass, and when I got off of the bus I smoked three cigarettes to calm my nerves...

Sometimes I think that by notting touching women's asses I am denying my True Self, but the Devil is tricky that way. The Devil lurks in many a woman's ass, and I cannot give in. Today is Day Seventeen, and -- God willing -- if I make it through tomorrow without touching a woman's ass it will be Day Eighteen. My name is David, and I am an Ass Addict...

I am Laslo.

David Baker said...

I'm not buying it. Aside from Swift's always-the-victim career, why in the world would anyone risk their own considerable income just for a cheap feel.

The court was starstruck. And she's gets to release yet another album about her victim-hood.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

She's worth 360 million. She doesn't need the money and her story is tight. His story is all over the place.

glenn said...

Bob Filner was unavailable for comment.

buwaya said...

I think Taylor Swift has been accused of being a Nazi - by Camille Paglia, among others.

I dont think I have ever heard her sing actually, but whatever it is probably isnt too Nazi, as that is out of fashion.

She doesnt look like a Nazi, but you never know I suppose. She struck me as more of a Fascist. There is enormously greater musical variety in Fascism, as well as more variety in ideal looks.

Rob said...

Praise and honor to Swift's attorney. That was one very well-prepped witness. And asking for only a dollar in damages in the countersuit--genius.

Laslo Spatula said...

Hello, everyone. My name is David, and I am an Ass Addict...

It has been twenty-four days since I last grabbed a woman's ass without her permission. I'd love to say it's getting easier, but it is not...

One of the things I have noticed since I have stopped grabbing women's asses: just how many women don't bend their knees when they reach down to pick up something. How can they not know what this does to men like me? How can they not know that their ass straight up and proud in the air is nearly impossible to resist...?

Now, I am not blaming women for my problem. It is my sickness: I own it. But -- damn -- women shouldn't make it so difficult to ignore their asses. There is a girl at the gym I go to, and when she runs on the treadmill I am practically hypnotized by her ass as her ponytail swishes back-and-forth with her stride...

And I know SHE knows she has a fine ass: she has obvious Ass Pride. But I guess I am supposed to pretend that I don't notice these things. Women put their asses right in our faces and we have to pretend to not look at them, much less touch them. Again: I am not blaming women, there is obviously a biological reason for this, but why am I expected to ignore MY biology..?

I mean, what if there is no such thing as Ass Addiction, and it is just genetic response? How am I supposed to win against THAT? But then I realize that mind-tricks like this are a representation of the Evil in the world, so I resort to smoking, drinking, and obsessively washing my hands until the skin is raw...

My name is David, and I am an Ass Addict...

I am Laslo.

buwaya said...

Laslo,

I don't think the Nazis excelled at fine asses.
Too much physical fitness for their own good really.
The Fascists were much better in that department.

Laslo Spatula said...

buwaya said...
"I don't think the Nazis excelled at fine asses."

Please don't get me going on the asses of Jewish chicks in the Concentration Camps.

I will not go there.

I won't even go to Natalie Portman playing a chick in a Concentration Camp in a movie. The one time I don't want to see her in a 'shower scene'.

i am Laslo.

Etienne said...

Muellers mistake was he grabbed the wrong ass. Swift is chaperoned everywhere by her mother. Her mother is probably on the bed when she has sex to make sure things go just right.

Most people will tell their friends that "that" guy grabbed their ass, and they will all "creep-out" together.

But no, Swift has a chaperone, and once she found out, you can kiss your two-bit radio advertising job good-bye.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Earnest Prole said...

If Taylor Swift actually had an ass then I might believe it was groped.

Douglas said...

For me this case is a no-brainer - just look at the picture. What the f*** was his hand doing down below her waist if not fondling her butt? And look at her face - the grimace/smile, the professional determination to tough it out and not make a scene. Her airtight testimony combined with his failure to explain what his hand was doing down below her waist were just the icing on the cake. Mueller should have walked away from this happy that his feel only cost him his job and his reputation and didn't result in a criminal charge of molestation.

David Baker said...

"She doesn't need the money and her story is tight. His story is all over the place."

She had it in for this guy. She wanted to take him down. Her talent is in being the master manipulator.

As for him. he was poorly prepared. More, he was up against a starstruck court.

To Swift, men are nothing more than sources for achy-breaky lyrics. And then to be disposed of. Given her druthers, she'd rather sleep with; 1) Herself; 2) Selena Gomez; 3) Kate Upton

Bonkti said...

Projection.

He's an ass who needs to get a hold of himself.

traditionalguy said...

Few women have that perfect ass for grabbing . A perfect 10 has a baby's butt shape and strong legs. The new Queen of England in waiting has one.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MayBee said...

Good for her!

I do wonder if he intentionally grabbed or if it was inadvertent. I also wonder if I would say "ass" in court, or if I would say "bum" or bottom. I think I'd feel weird saying "ass".

Buck Narked said...

David Baker must be using sarcasm that is on a different level than I can comprehend. This guy was furniture to Taylor Swift. She could not possibly have cared enough about him to "have it in for him."

Achilles said...

Etienne said...
Muellers mistake was he grabbed the wrong ass.

Male sexual predators have a way of choosing the right targets. Mueller doesn't sound like he does this sorta thing often.

If he wants to up his game he should get some tips from a real sexual predator like Slick Billy.

Pinandpuller said...

Do what you love and you'll never work another day your whole life unless it's in the prison laundry.

rehajm said...

Taylor Swift is talented and a smart cookie and deserves very little of the shit thrown her way.

Chuck deserves more than the share of shit what flows his way.

eddie willers said...

I am practically hypnotized by her ass as her ponytail swishes back-and-forth with her stride...

Tell me more.

eddie willers said...

From the article:

According to Swift’s team, Mueller later identified “Craig” as his boss, Eddie Haskell

"Honest, Mrs. Clever, I was just brushing dust off of Beaver".

Khesanh 0802 said...

From what I can glean about Taylor Swift she is extremely talented vocally, she is a tough-as-nails business women who kicked Apple's butt when they tried to force her to give her music away, and has played Apple and Spotify off against each other to her benefit.

Mueller's case has been thrown out by the judge. Link.

Here's some more on her business acumen.

Mueller's lucky to have gotten off as lightly as he has. The essence of it all is that she is a powerful young woman and seems very easily ably to take care of herself without any whining about safe spaces.

Fernandinande said...

"The Taylor Swift groping trial shows how we think about who’s entitled to women’s bodies"

No it doesn't.

(in Vox)

What a coincidence.

Kevin said...

People trying to make sense of this story keep forgetting: Taylor Swift might be the most desired woman in the world. Like out of the 7 1/2 billion or whatever we're up to now, it is at least arguable that she is number 1. I'd like to see who people think is, if she isn't. Without doubt she is top 5, which out of 7 billion is no more than a rounding error.


Socially, she's basically the Head Cheerleader of the World. Given men's evolutionary drive to mate with the highest level mate they can get, well, you can't get higher than Number 1 out of 7 billion. It isn't an excuse, because she encounters hundreds of men a day who manage not to brute force her, because they have morals and/or respect for the law or at least fear of it. But it is an explanation: dude went crazy. He was like Augustus Gloop in the garden of Willy Wonka's. No matter what he did or will do with the rest of his life, he felt up the number 1 woman in the entire world. And that's something. (Especially when others' claim to fame is shooting up movie theaters, etc, ie, really desperate stuff)

Johanna Lapp said...

So she wins the suit and a token $1 in punitive (or is that actual?) damages.

And the losing party pays all the winner's legal expenses.

It's like she asked her attorneys "What would you liike for Christmas?" And they said a high-profile lawsuit where we can roll up a million dollars in billings, get our faces on national TV, humiliate a sleazeball and have our names in the national press for a week.

holdfast said...

May all Muellers' court actions be dismissed this quickly.

Placement of apostrophe is deliberate.

The Godfather said...

@tradguy says: "Few women have that perfect ass for grabbing . A perfect 10 has a baby's butt shape and strong legs. The new Queen of England in waiting has one."
De gustibus and all that, but Camilla's 70 years old. If however you DO grab her ass after Charles ascends to the throne, I think you're more likely to be beheaded than sued for a dollar.

Mark Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark Jones said...

"I'm not buying it. Aside from Swift's always-the-victim career, why in the world would anyone risk their own considerable income just for a cheap feel."

I think the obvious answer is, he didn't think it WOULD cost him his income. He thought he'd get away with it. The same reason most people do most the things they know they shouldn't.

Lucien said...

If you haven't clicked on Laslo's link - *you must click on Laslo's link.*

Seriously.

readering said...

Kind of an odd ruling. Per news report:

"Mueller can continue with his tortious inference claims against Swift’s mother Andrea Swift, and Swift’s radio promotions manager Frank Bell. Mueller’s 2015 lawsuit claims Andrea Swift and Bell pressured Lincoln Financial Media to fire Mueller by telling his boss that the station’s relationship with Taylor would be “gravely impacted” if something was not done about Mueller."

Also still in the case, Swift’s counterclaims against Mueller – including claims of sexual assault and battery.

These claims do not sound like they would allow for attorney's fees. And with Swift suing for just a dollar in actual damages, the most in punitives she could get is single digits.

John Constantius said...

Kevin said: Given men's evolutionary drive to mate with the highest level mate they can get...

Actually, Kevin, that's a woman's evolutionary drive.

A man's evolutionary drive is to mate with as many women as he can who are alive and breathing, including the fat ones and the ugly ones.

Women want high status mates because a successful mating (i.e. results in pregnancy) will take them out of the mating game for nine months and then leave them needing someone to provide for them and their new child for some period of time after that. For a man, a successful mating takes him out of the mating game for 10-15 minutes, and in fact continuing to mate with the woman he impregnated over the next nine months is an utter waste of time from an evolutionary perspective.

I almost suspect you're a woman pretending to be a man given how badly you got this wrong.

Still, agree that Taylor Swift is nice looking and also breathing and alive, so most men would do her. She's a bit on the skinny side though and I'm guessing that Mueller didn't actually get much of a handful when he decided to play grab-ass.

madAsHell said...

"Grab her by the pussy!"

google is evil said...

"The Taylor Swift groping trial shows how we think about who’s entitled to women’s bodies" (in Vox).

Only a bigoted and sexist site like Vox would write something so stupid. It would only occur to them that you didn't learn as a child this type of behavior is wrong. Sad how hateful and ignorant they are.

JAORE said...

I'd like to see who people think is, if she isn't....

Halle Berry occupies the first 16 or so places for me....

David Baker said...

If it actually happened, she would've reacted when it happened. Unless you believe she's Little Bo Peep one minute, and a tough business woman the next.

Darrell said...

If it actually happened, she would've reacted when it happened

She did. Now go away for now--you've beclowned yourself enough for today.

David Baker said...

Let me put it this way; she would've raised holy hell the second his hand touched her "ass" (her word).

Meanwhile, she had no problem in open court playing the "ass" card. Not at all like Little Bo Peep who lost her sheep, but like a seasoned street walker.

David said...

"From what I can glean about Taylor Swift she is extremely talented vocally, she is a tough-as-nails business women who kicked Apple's butt when they tried to force her to give her music away, and has played Apple and Spotify off against each other to her benefit."

Super rich talented beautiful chick who grew up in an affluent family.

White Privilege all the way. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Big Mike said...

@readering, you haven't heard of Reynolds v Pegler? Famous case. Journalist Quentin Reynolds won only $1 from conservative columnist Westbrook Pegler in actual damages, but $175,000 in punitive damages. Case was back in the 1950s, so in today's dollars the punitive damages should work out to be well north of a million.

Big Mike said...

@David Baker, you wouldn't be Kanye West in real life, would you?

David Baker said...

@Big Mike,

Not to change the subject, but how did the lab work turn out? You were a little concerned a few nights ago.

Big Mike said...

The doctor says they claim to have lost the sample. Outside of the smell of my urine I am utter asymptomatic for anything. No fever, no weakness or fatigue, no symptoms indicative of type 2 diabetes, no pain, nothing. He had changed my blood pressure meds and perhaps that's the source.

Matthew Sablan said...

"The Taylor Swift groping trial shows how we think about who’s entitled to women’s bodies"

-- Actually, it kind of does.

And the answer clearly seems to be: Not just any random dude who tries to cop a feel. Those dudes get fired.

Bad Lieutenant said...

-- Actually, it kind of does.

And the answer clearly seems to be: Not just any random dude who tries to cop a feel. Those dudes get fired.

I guess he wasn't a star. If Channing Tatum had done it...

Bad Lieutenant said...

Big Mike, what had you eaten that day?

readering said...

So Mueller goes down in flames in his trial. One fact I hadn't known: Mueller secretly recorded a work discussion of the incident but then spilled coffee on his computer so that the recording could not be retrieved. Fishy.

(Big Mike, re punitives, since your case (dating before I was born) the courts have ruled that in fairness there has to be a relationship between actual and punitive damages, so jury award of a Lincoln in actuals would limit punitives to no more than a Hamilton.)